The book SEX STRAIGHT TALK centers on correcting the wrong
ideas people have about sex. The first chapter is about the divinity of sex,
the right and wrong time to engage in it, the problems one encounters when
going about it the wrong way and how to tackle sex related issues. The chapter
defines a person who wishes to engage in premarital or extramarital sex as a
person without character and warns partners of such people to find their square
roots out of the relationship. It further exposes the truth that married
couples do less of sex than other things and so unmarried couples who spend
their courtship time in sex don’t find anything to hold onto when tied in
marriage and soon the marriage elapses. The chapter also expounds on se as a
thing of the mind and therefore concludes that if one can have control over his
mind i.e. the things he hears reads or sees and therefore the thoughts that
come to his mind then the individual can deal with his sexuality more easily
than seeing it as a devil that should be cast out of him. He then adds that the
reason why sexual urges are one of the strongest urges in us(even for the nuns
and priests) is because God made sex for procreation and if not for the sexual
urges, people could easily decide to never indulge in the act till death and
that would mean wiping out the human race.
The second chapter takes an in-depth look at the story of
Samson and Delilah to further illuminate the dangers of sex outside marriage.
It expatiates on the name Delilah to mean “slacken”, “languish”,” to dry up”
e.t.c. it symbolizes anyone with the willingness to feed our longing for sin as
Delilah. Here Sam explains that sex could be both painful and sweet . According
to this chapter and based on statistics, sex is the most enjoyable for Christians.
It reminds singles to focus on the painful part of sex and married people to
focus on the pleasure aspect of sex because we are naturally drawn to things
that give us pleasure and painful phenomena naturally repels us ;therefore in
order not to fall we must paint a clear picture of the dangers of sexual sin
whether premarital or extramarital and he mentions these dangers to include
unwanted pregnancies which could also lead to the sin of abortion, upcoming and
ever persistent venereal diseases, curses e.t.c. the chapter also states other
ways of staying out os sexual sin to be –making up your mind not to sin, hating
sin, being sensitive, satisfaction in ones marriage, accountability and
avoiding the object of your sexual temptation.
On the topic of healing for the sexually abused, the book
uses the story of Tamar being raped by her brother Amnon in 2nd
Samuel as a reference to the fact that incest and rape have an origin from
Bible times, he also makes us understand that a lot of people around our neighborhood
could be going through it without our knowledge. The book also associates a lot
of pain and frustration to the sexually molested. However it does give a ray of
hope for such people and a step by step way to be free again; these steps
are-confessing ones hurts to Jesus and asking for healing, forgiving the
abuser, renewing your mind, asking help from a counselor, preventing
reoccurrence of such, and moving on with your life and also helping others gat
through their similar difficulties; this he claims is the best way to be
totally healed.
In the fourth chapter, the book tries to eliminate wrong
notions that single have about marriage and sex which may lead them into making
the wrong decisions. First it makes the message clear that sex is good because
it was created by God and when he was done with creation which sex was a part
of , He saw that everything was good but the goodness of sex remains only
within the confines of marriage. The book also makes us understand that because
God is the creator of our sexuality hen he can’t be angry at us because of
it. Sam in this chapter sees sex to be
like a beautiful diamond which when divided into too many pieces loses its value
and therefore warns that it is only when sex is done in a committed
relationship like marriage could it add to our self esteem because otherwise,
it causes distrust and a low self esteem. He also tries to pint out the fact
that those who think sex determines who you are, are wrong and only sell the
idea because they don’t want to be the only ones in it but they make it seem
like those who abstain from it are missing a lot, this he says is a wrong way
to heal ones low self esteem. The chapter also touches on the myth that
premarital sex cements a relationship and shows why this notion is also wrong
to be that only character can build commitment in a relationship. On the third
wrong conception of sex, the book makes the understanding that sex does not
cure loneliness and warns that people who are vulnerable to fall for this myth
due not having much care at home should be extra careful and guard themselves
because the end of such relationships is always worse than having stayed alone.
The book also warns those who feel that because they have already fallen, then
they have no need to abstain from sex .Here also, singles are advised on how to
manage their relationships before marriage so as not to fall into sin, they are
encourage to set limits on their closeness, get married as early as possible,
find activities they can do together to take their minds off the attraction
they have towards each other. This chapter also helps those hinged on
masturbation, pornography, homosexuality and those who get frequent wet dreams
In the chapter on sex education, the writer highlights the
need for children to be sexually educated, the way to go about it for different
age groups and what not to do, it gives a step by step guide for parent- child education.
Here the writer tries to discourage the tendency that parents have to leave all
the education of a child to the educational institutions, peer groups and other
influences and encourages parents to see their children’s sexual education as a
responsibility. It tries to encourage parents not to shy away from making their
children knowledgeable about sex .based on age, the book offers various methods
of sex education; for the first two years of a child’s life, parents are
encouraged to show affection for their children and draw them closer, here it is
not necessary to talk to them about sexuality and are also encouraged to relate
well with each other as the children get messages from how their parents relate
to each other; between the ages of three and six parents are encouraged to
answer their children with gentleness and not wonder or over react to their
growing curiosity towards their sexuality: for children between age six and
nine parents can now start communicating to their children about Bible values
about sexuality, parents are beseeched to be careful who their children keep
company with and are also to explain what every part of the body does and so
on;
In the last chapter titled wisdom for sex matters readers are
warned that sexual sin steals away destiny and one should be careful of members
of the opposite sex that speak to us with too much affection, here we are also
warned that what we listen to over time has effects on us so we must stop
listening to things that arouse our sexual emotions and instead let the word of
God in us be raised to block whatever we are hearing. people who find
themselves in position of sexual temptation are urged to keep the end of the
sin in mind because the end is bitter and is one of the ways the devil uses to
steal away peoples destinies and we are again reminded that sin consumes the
body not only in hell but in the form of sexually transmitted diseases. For
married couples the men are encouraged to beautify their wives with whatever it
is that might make them go outside to another woman and are promised that
whatever they invest in their wives they will get more out of it, also spending
time with one another and staying close are other ways to keep a marriage
working.
